Consider a scenario... Suppose you are on your way to the office and you find yourself stuck in a very bad traffic jam. You know you are getting late for a meeting but you are stuck.
You reach your office and you are quite late and your boss is furious with you. He taunts you and asks you to present your work in the meeting. Because he is irritated with you, he picked out flaws in your work for no reason.
You are trying to control the situation and move on, so you hid your frustration and anger and did not engage in an argument.
Then later in the afternoon, your co-worker accidentally slipped a cup of coffee on your laptop on which you have all of your work.
Now, you have to submit your laptop to the IT department for data recovery. This adds a further delay in your work schedule. And in the back of your mind, this is another trigger that adds to your anger.
And in order to appear polite, you decide no to scream at your co-worker. You choose to ignore it and try to move on with the day.
Now, on your way back home, you arrive at your parking spot only to find that someone else has parked his car. This is another frustration fuelling your anger. You still ignore and move on. You enter your home feeling so tired and frustrated. You just want to have your dinner and go to bed.
But you find that the dinner is not ready for yet another hour.
Suddenly you find yourself losing control of your feelings and end up lashing out on your spouse and children.
Now, let us assess your reaction. A late dinner does not justify the size of your reaction. Your family will not be able to see what is going on in your head. And that you poured down all your frustrations on them is not reasonable either.
If you could have addressed each situation then and there, and expressed your feelings, your reaction at the end of the day would not have been so unreasonable.
Sometimes, a moment comes when the piled up anger comes out too strong which is destructive for your health and your relationships with others, as your strong outburst reaction seems to be unreasonable.
Also, when individuals act aggressively towards others, they often excuse their behavior by saying something like, “I lost it”implying that they had no control over themselves, like a pressure cooker that exploded because after a certain point it couldn’t hold off the steam inside anymore. Some people do not admit that they are angry as they don’t like to be confronted.
Moreover, they usually stay silent & pretend that everything is okay.
We are aware that humans have basic emotions such as happiness, sadness, anxiety & anger. These are the emotions which are necessary for their survival.
Experience of anger
Anger has both physical and mental consequences. People facing anger issues experience increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline,and at times public acts of aggression.
There are different kinds of expressions which tell us about the person who is having anger such as facial expressions, body language etc.
While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes them to lose of themselves and the situation as well as they become defensive of their actions and are longer unbiased or fair to the overall situation.
Modern psychologists view anger as a normal, natural, and mature emotion. However, Uncontrolled anger can negatively affect personal or social well-being and negatively impact those around them.
Here when we talk about pressure cooker anger it implies that a person builds anger inside them like a pressure cooker builds the steam.
In other words, when triggered, a person avoids to vent out and keeps his feelings inside upto a few triggers of varying intensities, until he reaches a point where no more can be kept inside and explodes even at the smallest of a trigger.
This type of angry behavior is very destructive to the person’s own self and to others.
Questions to ask yourself-
Is it right to build up anger?
How could I have responded to the situation?
Do I have stable emotions?
How to deal with such anger?
Cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) & Healing are the therapy which helps a person to control such a destructive behaviour of anger.
Talking about CBT, it works on the process & techniques which helps us to understand when we are getting angry & how to control it.
There are certain signs & actions which tell that a person is not liking the situation & getting angry such as being passive, biting our tongue, saying nothing and swallowing the injustice.
Long term anger issues can lead to many problems & diseases like sleep disturbance, chronic pain, muscle tension, jaw clenching, Crohn's disease, and other illnesses.
Therapy also provides a healthy environment for healing, expressing ourselves, relaxing our mind, reducing stress levels & many other self-care techniques.
How does CBT work?
discovers the root cause of anger problem
tells how to reduce the effect caused by triggers
replaces outburst reaction with an effective conversation
helps in learning different techniques to manage anger & express self
discover the positive effects of anger in you - channel & express anger in a constructive way.
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